Summer has arrived like a lion the past 10 days. For weeks we were hovering around a perpetual high of 75F, our heater still kicking in at night, and then suddenly temperatures shot up into the 90s in no time. Just a few days ago I was running after a long 4-hour ride and nearly got sick when finishing – the demands in serious heat are a shock to the body until full acclimation occurs which is about 2 weeks.
This weekend was no different except that we were greeted with temps already in the low 80s in the morning. Steve and I ran together very early Sunday, and we used every bit of the Gatorade in our Fuel Belt bottles.
Today ends the last week I am in the Build Phase for an “A-Race” this season, which is Ironman Kansas 70.3, one week from today on June 15th, Father’s Day no less. I’m not sure if Steve will consider it a favor to watch his wife brave the open water for 1.2 miles, ride her super-fast steed for 56, and then trot 13.1 miles to an intended Personal Record, though he certainly seems up for it. Lately I’ve been showered with the Shaking Head, the Sly Grin, the Mm-mm-mm-MMM!, and the abundant (but never old) “Man, you look HOT!” Growing up, I never heard these kinds of complements. It is no exaggeration to say I was a real Ugly Duckling in my gawky adolescence, and while the self-image issues have gone by the wayside, the warm and never-gratuitous accolades from my wonderful husband are deeply appreciated and always refreshing to hear.
I have strong results from previous races this season and expect to do well this coming Sunday. I’ve risen at dawn and alternately frozen and sweated the miles, and swam til I couldn’t lift a cup of coffee. This year I’m making friends with The Line that exists between pushing as hard as you can and blowing up on the race course. My coach has told me it takes experience to manage The Line and this year I am determined to master it, to find out what I am really made of.
All noble efforts and intentions, aren’t they? Well, this past weekend I got a great reminder of some of the less noble things I’m made of…
The “circuit” around my neighborhood makes a perfect time trial loop for biking, and also simulates Sunday’s race course with its rolling hills and some longer climbs. I was riding 5-minute intervals and in the process of completing 5 of these little monsters. Two roads merge together at the very end of the “course”….I could see the truck coming from one direction with me coming from the other, both of us headed to merge onto the same road, like the top two lines of the letter Y coming down into the single base line.
Something’s gotta give and sure enough his road has a Yield sign to allow traffic from my road to go first. I could already tell from his momentum that he didn’t see the sign and wasn’t planning on stopping. We merged at the same time onto the combined road, and while the speed is only 20mph and I was watching him with an eagle eye, he never saw me.
I coasted along, hugging the side of the road, and waited for him to fully come alongside me so I could look over right at him and make eye contact. HE WAS ON HIS PHONE….and the expletives began streaming from my mouth…
“Did ya see the YIELD SIGN there A--Hole??!!!”
And even better…
“Get off your F-CKING PHONE!!!”
He never did see me and needless to say I was fuming. I was more angry at his disregard for the safety of others, but I was also (even just a tiny bit) angry at being “violated”. I go to great lengths to practice safety and courtesy on the road when riding. I wear a “Third Eye” – a rear-view mirror that clips onto my sunglasses so I can see cars coming behind me. I use proper hand/arm gestures to indicate an upcoming turn with plenty of notice, and I even wave at the car as a thank you as I complete a turn.
It’s not that I expect reciprocal behavior from everyone. But drivers who do not pay attention will end up hitting someone sooner or later, even a cyclist who perfectly obeys traffic signs and uses unambiguous body language in their riding.
Truth be told, it was the disposition of my heart Saturday that hurt the most. The driver never saw me but the Hispanic guys laying sod at a house across the street did, and they simply stared. I was a terrible example of how to handle anger, even if perfectly justified.
In no way does Christianity claim that once you have “been saved” you stop sinning. (Anyone who promotes this belief needs to read their Bible again). The truth is there is plenty in the Bible to support the opposite – the war between what you want to do, which is please God, and what your mind/body does in its weaker moments is at full tilt – you are now more than ever on the devil’s radar and he will use whatever means to get you to turn away from God.
Saturday I could’ve chosen other ways to handle my anger. Mind you, anger itself is not a sin; it’s what we do with it that goes over the line of God’s standard of right and wrong. I felt deeply remorseful for my outburst and asked for God’s help in dealing with my weakness. Just earlier in the day, my darling husband had used beautiful words to complement and build up his wife; isn’t it amazing how quickly words can be used also as a sword to tear people apart. Sadly I have been lacking in the former and have excelled in the latter.
Saturday was a reminder also that if I wanted God to “be fair” or just with me, I would be forever lost.
I don’t want His justice; what I need is God’s unmerited favor – His amazing grace, and that realization will keep me humble in His presence and longing to extend that same grace to others who may not deserve it.
This weekend was no different except that we were greeted with temps already in the low 80s in the morning. Steve and I ran together very early Sunday, and we used every bit of the Gatorade in our Fuel Belt bottles.
Today ends the last week I am in the Build Phase for an “A-Race” this season, which is Ironman Kansas 70.3, one week from today on June 15th, Father’s Day no less. I’m not sure if Steve will consider it a favor to watch his wife brave the open water for 1.2 miles, ride her super-fast steed for 56, and then trot 13.1 miles to an intended Personal Record, though he certainly seems up for it. Lately I’ve been showered with the Shaking Head, the Sly Grin, the Mm-mm-mm-MMM!, and the abundant (but never old) “Man, you look HOT!” Growing up, I never heard these kinds of complements. It is no exaggeration to say I was a real Ugly Duckling in my gawky adolescence, and while the self-image issues have gone by the wayside, the warm and never-gratuitous accolades from my wonderful husband are deeply appreciated and always refreshing to hear.
I have strong results from previous races this season and expect to do well this coming Sunday. I’ve risen at dawn and alternately frozen and sweated the miles, and swam til I couldn’t lift a cup of coffee. This year I’m making friends with The Line that exists between pushing as hard as you can and blowing up on the race course. My coach has told me it takes experience to manage The Line and this year I am determined to master it, to find out what I am really made of.
All noble efforts and intentions, aren’t they? Well, this past weekend I got a great reminder of some of the less noble things I’m made of…
The “circuit” around my neighborhood makes a perfect time trial loop for biking, and also simulates Sunday’s race course with its rolling hills and some longer climbs. I was riding 5-minute intervals and in the process of completing 5 of these little monsters. Two roads merge together at the very end of the “course”….I could see the truck coming from one direction with me coming from the other, both of us headed to merge onto the same road, like the top two lines of the letter Y coming down into the single base line.
Something’s gotta give and sure enough his road has a Yield sign to allow traffic from my road to go first. I could already tell from his momentum that he didn’t see the sign and wasn’t planning on stopping. We merged at the same time onto the combined road, and while the speed is only 20mph and I was watching him with an eagle eye, he never saw me.
I coasted along, hugging the side of the road, and waited for him to fully come alongside me so I could look over right at him and make eye contact. HE WAS ON HIS PHONE….and the expletives began streaming from my mouth…
“Did ya see the YIELD SIGN there A--Hole??!!!”
And even better…
“Get off your F-CKING PHONE!!!”
He never did see me and needless to say I was fuming. I was more angry at his disregard for the safety of others, but I was also (even just a tiny bit) angry at being “violated”. I go to great lengths to practice safety and courtesy on the road when riding. I wear a “Third Eye” – a rear-view mirror that clips onto my sunglasses so I can see cars coming behind me. I use proper hand/arm gestures to indicate an upcoming turn with plenty of notice, and I even wave at the car as a thank you as I complete a turn.
It’s not that I expect reciprocal behavior from everyone. But drivers who do not pay attention will end up hitting someone sooner or later, even a cyclist who perfectly obeys traffic signs and uses unambiguous body language in their riding.
Truth be told, it was the disposition of my heart Saturday that hurt the most. The driver never saw me but the Hispanic guys laying sod at a house across the street did, and they simply stared. I was a terrible example of how to handle anger, even if perfectly justified.
In no way does Christianity claim that once you have “been saved” you stop sinning. (Anyone who promotes this belief needs to read their Bible again). The truth is there is plenty in the Bible to support the opposite – the war between what you want to do, which is please God, and what your mind/body does in its weaker moments is at full tilt – you are now more than ever on the devil’s radar and he will use whatever means to get you to turn away from God.
Saturday I could’ve chosen other ways to handle my anger. Mind you, anger itself is not a sin; it’s what we do with it that goes over the line of God’s standard of right and wrong. I felt deeply remorseful for my outburst and asked for God’s help in dealing with my weakness. Just earlier in the day, my darling husband had used beautiful words to complement and build up his wife; isn’t it amazing how quickly words can be used also as a sword to tear people apart. Sadly I have been lacking in the former and have excelled in the latter.
Saturday was a reminder also that if I wanted God to “be fair” or just with me, I would be forever lost.
I don’t want His justice; what I need is God’s unmerited favor – His amazing grace, and that realization will keep me humble in His presence and longing to extend that same grace to others who may not deserve it.
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