Double Deux Deux

I turn 44 today (Sept 15th) :). The title for this post was inspired by a friend and coworker who sent me the Italian version of “Double 2 2” which I simply translated into French as “Double Deux Deux”. The fact it sounds like the familiar euphemism “do-do” (at least in American English) isn’t lost on me either, hee hee :).

Like the popular phrase “It seems just like yesterday I…” shared by so many, I must admit I am not immune to this sentiment either. It does seem very recent that I officially became “middle-aged”, though I’ve also heard the phrase 40 is the new 30, and I can’t say I disagree.

That being said, I’ve spent some time in personal reflection and have come to understand there are dueling forces at work in my mind. On one side of the fence is the acceptance of the process of aging (death and taxes, right? :)) and the inevitable consequences that come along with it. The other is the realization I’ve been given the beautiful gift of health and my unmitigated fitness pursuits have yet to reach their peak. All that to say I may be getting older but I’m still getting faster :).

So I’ve compiled two lists (Steve would be proud – he’s the Uber Master of Lists) that represent each side of the aforementioned fence. Here they are.

List 1: Inevitable Signs of Aging I’ve Noticed in the Last Year:

1. I have more gray hair, way more than last year, way more than Steve and he’s pushing 50! At first I noticed only one, but I’ve given up trying to count.

2. The ability to read anything in smaller than 8pt print is gone. I officially need magnifying glasses to read smaller stuff. In addition, I need more light to clearly see print of any size. It’s not that I can’t read in reduced lighting, I have just noticed the print seems to come to life when I apply more illumination.

3. One night I realized I couldn’t clearly see my bowl of chocolate ice cream I was cradling in my hands while watching CSI. Yikes!! If I held the bowl about a foot away all was crystal clear (but who wants heavenly elixir moving in the opposite direction?? :)). I’m still nearsighted but anything in close range (within a foot) is blurry and now needs magnification.

4. I need more time to recover from hard training days. Dara Torres (41 year old Olympic swimmer) expressed the same sentiment during this summer’s events. She may be as fast as the young studs, but as the body ages it needs more time to recover from hard efforts. I’m not supersonic by any stretch, but I’ve come to realize I can’t bounce back unaffected like I could in my 20s.

5. I have a greater sense of urgency (and not when going to the bathroom :)) for my family, friends, and everyone who comes into my path to receive meaningful and accurate information about God and who He really is in a sensitive, compassionate, and real way, when/if the timing is right.

6. I have a deep peace that I don’t need to financially plan for 70+ years any longer; 40-50 will do it!

7. I have more hair on my face! The first subtle yet visible sign of shifting hormone levels has left its imprint in the form of fine peach fuzz above my lip and along my jaw line. I’m still “safe” though – Steve can grow a full beard in about an hour! :)

8. I’m a “cheap date” when it comes to alcohol – one beer and it’s over!

9. I’ve started opting in for more sleep in the mornings and at times delaying workouts to midday or late afternoons. It’s harder to get going at 5:00am, though I still enjoy a long swim in the pre-dawn hours :).

List 2: Aging’s Alter Ego (aka “I’ll Go Down Fighting! :))

1. One year ago exactly today, on my 43rd birthday, I trained for and completed my first (but not last) Ironman triathlon. I wrote a story about my race experience and it became the catalyst for this blog :). To this day I still hear from folks who have been touched or inspired by that first post now over a year ago. Awesome!

2. I got my first (quite possibly my last – man it hurt BAD) tattoo – the red M-Dot Ironman symbol is permanently etched above my right ankle, not so much as a public symbol of my achievement but more as a reminder to me that I actually finished the race.

3. My desire to love God with all my heart and to know Him more than ever is off the charts this year. Along with it has come a deeper longing for heaven and a certainty that this is not my permanent home. Don’t get me wrong; I LOVE my life and everything about it, good and bad. However, it would be a terrible gamble to think this is all there is – and be wrong about it in the end. The very idea of God is worth investigating; He promises those who seek Him with all their heart (as in an open heart) will find Him.

4. Steve and I are celebrating our 10th anniversary tomorrow. This year more than ever I have been deeply grateful for every day we have together. He is my best friend, the buddy I never had as a kid, and there is nothing we don’t share. We are completely open and vulnerable to each other, and I treasure being known by another, warts and all.

5. I play more, as in kid kinda play. I ran a race last Sunday and in the goodie bag along with my race number was a mini Frisbee – cool! Tonight after dinner I picked up the Frisbee and said to Steve Hey, it’s my birthday – I wanna PLAY :). So we threw the Frisbee around – inside the house – around corners – in slippers – on hardwood floors! What a blast. Thank goodness we’re empty-nesters; we are a terrible example for kids at times :).

6. I have trouble comprehending that I was already in college when many of the folks we interact with in everyday living were born. It’s not that I think of 20-somethings as being “so young”; it’s that I have trouble believing I am “that old” :).

7. My fire for living life to its fullest hasn’t waned at all. In fact it’s only grown and I’m constantly thinking of how I can make the best use of the most valuable commodity I have – TIME. How can I invest whatever precious hours I have left in this lifetime and use the gifts I have been given to better the lives of those around me?

8. I boldly take on more risks and challenges – I have absolutely nothing to lose except the later regret for passing on the opportunity :). A recent survey taken of senior citizens produced the following answer to the question “If you had a chance to change something in your life, what would it be?” Answer: I would’ve taken more risks. I want nothing left when I pass from this life. I want to meet God someday completely emptied out, having given it all away – my time, talents, finances, possessions, even my body.